I’m a perfect parent for six hours a day, and then my alarm goes off.

Channeling love and good vibes to all the mommas out there in the spirit of Mother’s Day this weekend, including those super cool rockstar Moms that I aspire to be whenever I grow up….but here’s a very special shoutout to my spirit animal moms who get by on 6 shots of espresso by morning, cupcake moscato by night, the last drop of dry shampoo, and leftover mac n’ cheese dinners three days a week….…you just GET me.

So here’s to you…

to the mom whose entire morning was dictated by the unfortunate encounter with a bump in the sock of a tweenager: I say to you, be fierce, that sock is no match for pre-caffeinated mommas…

to the mom running to the grocery store for the 4th time today because on the 3rd trip you accidentally grabbed crunchy peanut butter, and well, 5 trips and you’re just a showoff….(ps. grab yourself a pint of peanut butter cup Halo Top, you’ll thank me later)…

to the mom that didn’t have enough time to fix a healthy meal in the 13 minutes after school before gymnastics, soccer, baseball, and martial arts…a note to you: if you’re a blended family and share households, you’ll cut your time in half if you stupendously manage to have all of the uniforms at the appointed house at all times-but if indeed you ARE capable of this-you are not of this mortal world and this post isn’t for you, rock on🤘…

to the mom at the classroom party glaring in mistaken envy and girl-crush admiration of the other mom that bewitchingly managed to make 22 fruit and veggie snails 🐌 out of celery, peanut butter, shaved carrots (and quite possibly the eye of newt and toe of frog)…as you handout 22 sugar-laden candy kabobs likely leftover from last year’s Easter extravaganza…

Yes to the mom whose son or daughter is turning 10 years old today, and for some reason still unbeknownst to all things rational, your alumni pregnancy hormones are holding a ten year class reunion…(has anyone figured this out yet???)…

to the mom who cringed with guilt after uttering the words “in a minute”, to their adorable attention seeking tiny tot for the ninety-eleventh time today…

to the mom who skipped her morning shower to gracefully lose in a juvenile game of ping-pong before the bus arrived this morning…

to the mom who looks in awe, wonder, and super-hero admiration at their child’s class room-mom, inquisitively interpreting their super powers to be deliriously out of reach….

to the mom whose son of little faith asks to review the GroupMe chat confirming coach’s uniform instructions every-single-game all because of that ONE time you ruefully sent him in the wrong jersey color…

to the step-momma whose bonus daughter just casually informed you that, even though she is with her “real” mom tonight she needs you to pickup 10 (T•E•N) two-liter bottles of coke and 60 mint mentos for her science project due tomorrow, and because you love her like she was your very own you ignore the fact that you have 5 other commitments scheduled that evening and the nearest grocery store only has 9 coke bottles in stock…

to the mom who isn’t permitted to even brush her teeth in the morning before solving at least a half dozen life altering crisis situations including moderating a five-way debate on whose day it is to feed the pet bird (the same bird that they all formerly pledged their precious little livelihoods to cherish, love, and for-crying-out-loud FEED daily)….

to the student mom who begins her studies after 10pm (okay okay sometimes closer to 11…) only after fiercely (but equally lovingly) debating 99 adolescent excuses to circumvent bedtime….suddenly realizing that tuning in to the sound of the tumbling dryer amidst the glow of your daughter’s Frozen princess nightlight is momentarily the most blissful sound in the universe…

to the mom who wiped her tears away yesterday after picking herself up off her closet floor and putting on her bravest “I’ve totally got this” smile…when in reality, the only thing you’ve totally got right now is 10 loads of dirty laundry and mad terrorist-negotiating skills involving under-aged pint-sized dictators (and not enough wine 🍷)…

Yep YOU, little momma.

I SEE you. I AM you. And I thank you for not letting me drink alone…

…and I know that you will understand that because I have finals the rest of the week, I will more than likely drop the ball on my Mother’s Day mailing list, and its quite possible that after spending the day at the soccer field, I’ll be sleeping for more than 3 solid hours on the ACTUAL day that commemorates the very reason I can no longer define the word “sleep”.

So here’s a toast to you, my beautiful soul sisters, to the fatal loss of your sanity, to your unwavering bravery, but most of all, to the beauty that lies in the grace that remains.

And here’s to hoping you get 5 minutes alone in your closet with a bottle of cupcake moscato and a pint of pb Halo Top.

Cheers little mommas! 🍷✌️

xoxo,

Maura